


dear mother, how you've come so far.

by maiaslightwood



Series: out of the shadows & into the light. [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Jace Wayland is a Lightwood, Lightwood Family, Mother's Day, Post-Episode: s03e22 All Good Things..., during the timejump, happy mother's day things can get better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-02 06:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18805747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maiaslightwood/pseuds/maiaslightwood
Summary: On a sunny day in Brazil, Maryse gets a few calls and messages she didn't expect.





	dear mother, how you've come so far.

**Author's Note:**

> happy mother's day.  
> this is what happens when i'm a) emotional & b) had one glass too much wine i think? don't blame me, blame it on the lightwood family owning my heart. thank you to nicola correia-damude who has been the best maryse lightwood we could ask for and been such a positive, supportive voice to many who have struggled with their familes (and especially mothers) accepting them. 
> 
> i hope everyone has had a good day and if this is a painful time for you i hope that things will get better and that you will find the love you deserve in any and all forms. ❤️
> 
> title from _scars_ by sam smith which i listened to on repeat and is a song that got me through some rough family times.
> 
> (now i'm done oversharing sorry!)

The first one arrives just as she’s settled down on the patio with some fruity drink and the book she’s been trying to get through for weeks. When Lucian had asked with a small smile if she wanted to come along to Brazil with him for a week or two she had been hesitant at first, about the time and place and leaving her shop and most importantly coming along on a Shadowhunter mission. They had decided to rent a small beach house then because as much as times were changing, Maryse wasn’t quite comfortable with staying at an unfamiliar Institute and far from ready to deal with two weeks of stares and whispers. New York was only just coming around to her being present without any runes and she felt there was no need to push her luck. Besides, their own place allowed for privacy and tranquility a building full of soldiers could never provide and despite the humidity she had to admit she enjoyed the warm evenings when they would eat out on the terrace or go for a late swim in the blue sea.

Now Luke had left for a mission with a kiss goodbye and the instruction for her to _just relax_ – which is cut short at the burning piece of paper flying towards her. Snatching the message from the air, she can feel her heart speeding up, already sitting upright to prepare for whatever bad news might be written – only to fall back into her chair with a soft sigh and a smile forming on her lips and her eyes watering just a little as she reads over the message.  

> _Hey Mom,_
> 
> _Happy Mother’s Day! Izzy reminded me that’s a thing mundanes celebrate and I think we should too. I think you’re great and I hope you’re having fun in Brazil. Please post pictures on Instagram – Magnus said he made you one for the bookshop so I know you know how to use it!_
> 
> _Love you,_
> 
> _Max_  

Carefully her fingers trace the familiar handwriting (a lot better now than even a year ago when Max had a phase of putting his pen between his teeth for writing which ended in something no one but Isabelle could decipher), spreading a warmth in her chest that has little to do with the sun already high in the sky. Of course, Shadowhunters know about Mundane traditions and she remembers there were a few years when they were younger, were Alec and Isabelle and later Jace would surprise her with a cake – barely edible – or a corny postcard. Then the older they had gotten the stricter she had to be and their relationship had grown colder with the demands she placed upon them. It’s a regret she tries not to let sink into her heart now for what’s done is done. She has spent the past year and a half trying to grow, to be better for her children and — if Max’s message is any indication — she’s doing well at it.

She gently places the piece of paper inside the pages of her book, leaning back to look at the waves crashing on the white sand and smiling to herself.

  

A few hours later Maryse is just about to pack up her book and find some relief from the heat inside the living room when her phone rings a familiar tune from inside. When she picks it up from where it has been lying face down on the table since they arrived four days ago her own reflection is staring back at her underneath Isabelle’s name flashing brightly. It takes a few moments for the connection to settle once she accepts the video call and then her screen clears to her daughter smiling from behind her desk. Head of the New York Institute – it still makes her dizzy with pride.

“Hey Mama,” Isabelle waves into the camera as she adjusts the angle and before Maryse can reply there’s a shuffle and then Jace is leaning in over his sister’s shoulder, smiling too. “Hey Mom!”

“Hello to you too,” Maryse can’t help the chuckle falling from her lips as she settles on the living room couch while still holding up her phone. “To what do I owe a call from both of you?”

Izzy inclines her head in a gesture all too familiar and Jace leans closer with a fond smile. “Just thought we’d check in on how you guys are doing,” he shrugs but his grin betrays this put-on nonchalance. Isabelle just shakes her head at him before focusing back on the camera. “And… happy Mother’s Day, Mama.”

Max had been a surprise, a warmth to her heart that had made this day special. Isabelle and Jace though, after everything she has said and done through the years, after only trying to be better a little over a year ago—

She can feel the tears stinging at her eyes, the soft gasp that falls from her lips as the only thing she can do is stare at two of her children smiling brightly without a shadow of doubt on their faces.

“We’re really proud of you,” Jace says and it sounds more genuine than anything she’s heard from him since Clary.

Maryse chuckles at that, quickly wiping at the corner of her right eye to hide her tears (even though there’s no use when she looks at four knowing eyes staring back at her). “That’s my line, you know.”

“Mom, you tell us all the time.” The _now_ goes unspoken. “But you need to hear it too, sometimes.”

 _But I shouldn’t_. She doesn’t say it out loud, only keeps her smile in place. There’s no use arguing and she knows she has a lot to make up for. Her children, brave and forgiving and loving as they are, have so easily looked past her mistakes and years of coldness. Sometimes she sees a glimmer of those old insecurities; shying away from her touch for a second, squaring their shoulders when telling her something and expecting to be reprimanded. It usually fades before she can reassure them or at the very least when she reaches out with comforting touches. Still, it’s a cold reminder of how much she has bruised them, how much weight she has put on their shoulders and every time she swears to make it better for the rest of their lives.

“Thank you.” It comes out more a whisper. As she blinks away tears she can see Jace putting an arm around Isabelle’s shoulders, their heads touching with soft smiles on both of their faces.

“So how is Brazil? I hope you’re getting a lot of rest because when you come back we could use you for a job… there’s been a code no one here seems to be able to crack and…” 

As they settle back into the usual talk of missions and demons Maryse can feel her shoulders relax under a weight she didn’t realize she was holding. It’s different from past talks, where it was her briefing them on missions and then hanging up with short words of _good luck_ and sharp looks that spoke of how important it was they wouldn’t disappoint her. Now Isabelle is the one recounting demon activity and Jace throws in a joke or two at his sister’s expanse which earns him an elbow to the ribs and a laugh from Maryse.

It’s almost forty minutes later when they hang up with waves and _goodbyes_ and _see you soon_ and Isabelle blowing her a kiss. As the screen goes black Maryse knows she’ll fight with everything she has to keep those smiles on her children’s faces, to keep this fluttering happiness in her chest. 

 

Lucian has just taken their drinks out to the patio with a kiss to her head while she puts the dirty plates into the dishwasher when her phone rings once more. Her brows only furrow for a moment before her heart leaps and no, this time her thoughts don’t immediately wander to worst-case scenarios. When she sees the name flashing on the display her lips curve into a smile all on their own accord.

“Alec, hey. Isn’t it really late over there?”

“Hey Mama.” He sounds tired but even through that she can hear the happiness, slow steps a background noise she can hardly make out.

“Is everything—”

“Just wanted to wish you a happy Mother’s day.”

Despite the two times she’s heard these congratulations today already, it still sucks the air from her lungs. Maybe because it’s Alec or maybe she will never get used to this love her children seem to easily give now.

“Oh.” She leans against the kitchen counter then, eyes trained on the doorway of the patio where she can see Lucian arranging the cushions on the loveseat. “Thank you.”

Alec lets out a low chuckle that makes her heart feel even warmer in her chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, things have been hectic and- You know, Alicante. But I just wanted to uhm…,” There’s a pause and she can hear him take a deep breath. “Just thank you. For everything. I love you.” 

She couldn’t hold the tears in now even if she tried.

She remembers three-year-old Alec, running to hug her and telling her he loves her any chance he got with arms stretched wide when she asked him how much. She remembers how once he grew older these words had come less and less and eventually stopped altogether. 

“I love you too, baby,” she whispers back now. _Actions speak louder than words_ , she had told herself many times but a mother should never deny her children of telling them how wonderful they are, how proud they make her, how much they mean to her. Words aren’t enough to fix things and heal but they’re something she can offer while she learns and tries.

There’s a soft chuckle, something that almost sounds like a sniffle too on the other line. And then a few beats of comfortable silence until something in the background seems to distract Alec.

“Yes, it’s her, just… wait a second…”

She isn’t quite sure if it’s directed at her or someone else. Then the sound changes and there’s a second voice pitching in.

“Good evening, Maryse. Happy Mother’s Day!”

And that, _oh_ , that tears at her heartstrings even more.

A fresh wave of tears spills down her cheeks but the good kind, the ones making you feel like your heart might burst out of your chest. If she has to make a lot of things right with her children, there’s so much more she has to make right with Magnus. And despite it all, he had let her hug him, had helped her and even asked her to walk him down the aisle to her eldest son.

“Thank you, Magnus.” It comes out a choked half-whisper but they seem to hear her nonetheless. She can almost see the soft smile Magnus and Alec exchange and despite the tears on her cheeks, suddenly she wishes they had video called too.

A few more moments pass before Magnus speaks up again, clearly trying to break the quiet and emotional mood. “So how is Brazil? Please tell me Luke and you also spent some time for yourselves and not just doing _Clave work_.”

Alec’s slightly affronted _Hey_ gets swallowed by her chuckle. There are some sounds on the other line she can’t quite decipher, like hands sliding on clothes and a little scoff.

“Well, _I_ am enjoying myself, I have to say. Even with the humidity.”

They all share a quiet laugh at that and Maryse relishes in the feeling of it; of her phone pressed to her ear, talking to two of her favorite people in the world in the dark of an unfamiliar kitchen while her heart feels filled to the brim with happiness.

“We were thinking once Luke gets called back to Alicante you should come with. See the new place.”

“We portalled the loft over to Alicante, Alexander. There’s hardly anything different about it.”

 “Still,” Alec insists. “How about dinner, just the four of us? There’s uh… some things we want to tell you.”

And that makes her straighten up, brows furrowing slightly as her mind races to what that could mean. Alec sounds sure and happy (now she can hardly recall a time when he hasn’t) but it still makes her worry slightly.

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course.”

“ _Better_ than okay,” Magnus interjects and she can hear the smile in his voice, a soft note she’s only ever heard him use around her son.

“Better than okay,” Alec agrees. 

“Well… I’m not sure I’m allowed in Idris, Alec,” she points out because as much as she wants to bask in the happiness and optimism in their voices it’s a realistic concern. An excommunicated Ex-Circle member turned mundane isn’t exactly a guest of honor in Idris, even with times changing.

“Anyone giving you shit for it can take it up with the High Warlock of Alicante and Inquisitor themselves,” Alec says sternly, leaving no room for discussion and it’s once more easy to see how he’s made it so far.

“I’m pretty sure they’re biased.” Still, she laughs as she says it, mind already made up.

“You’ll be staying with us and our apartment is out of the Clave’s jurisdiction anyway,” Magnus adds kindly. “And times are changing, Maryse.” 

Thinking of the both of them in their loft in Alicante, two of the most powerful men in Idris; of her daughter running an Institute of her own; of Downworlders and Shadowhunters working together; of her children, all calling or writing today despite everything… it’s clear as day.

“Yes,” she breathes out. “I suppose they are.” 

 

Twenty minutes later she steps out onto the patio just as the sun is about to set above the water. Lucian looks up from his book, nursing a beer. The smile he sends her makes her face warm and her heart soar.

“Everything alright,” he asks as she sits down next to him, settling into his side and sighing softly as he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

“Everything’s good,” she answers and she can’t believe how much she truly means it for once. 

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this in like two hours bc i'm an emotional mess so i'm sorry if this isn't 100% coherent or adding up with the timeline (what timeline??) but yeah. talk to me on [twitter](twitter.com/wylanfaheys) or [tumblr](eternalalec.tumblr.com) if you want!


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